Apr 10, 2011

You Have No Power Over Me

It's not too often that I get personal...usually my comments are soaked in sarcasm and my dorky leaps and poses in pictures keep the mood light but really I made this blog to express myself so well...I'm going to. I'll keep this anonymous so as not to name names.

I've had a tough week. It's not often that someone can get me in tears but it happened. Puffy faced, gaspoing for air Sarah is a beast I do not let out often. Long story short I was accused of something I did not do by someone else who was once a friend, and in front of those I loved, my name was thrown in the mud. Usually I'd let this roll off of my shoulders and just feel sorry for the poor load a' poo that said it but this one really hurt, and I think I know why.

Rewind. bjkfla;ghksla...(this is supposed to be what talking sounds like rewinding) fjkdsla;gdas.

I've had a tough year when it comes to friends. Everyone that I thought was once a friend completely disappeared. My life changed when I got married, I was no longer part of the single scene (which heck I'd be a weirdo if I was part of that scene) but because of that every friend (but one and my awesome sisters literally though) completely vanished from my life. Sir Matt is always and will always be my best friend but let's face it, sometimes a girl just needs a girly friend to chatter with, cry with, laugh with (make random music videos with...you know who I'm hinting at, it rhymes with shmaitlin, renny, pichelle and shmemily). Anyways this has left me feeling soo in need of a good friend.

Fast forward fjdksal;gjdsa (this is supposed to sound like fast forwarding) fjdksla;fj.

So this whole accusation was so hard on me because it reminded me of that fact that my friends have taken a turn for the worst and in it all, I'm left alone sometimes.

Fast forward to today. fhdkslagjdask (you know what it means) fjdksla;g

I feel so incredibly lucky. Nothing big and surprising has happened, I woke up, went to class, went to work, came home....and a little package appeared on my doorstep. Reminding me of the fact that the people that really matter love me more than anything, and that whether or not they're here with me now, they're always with me and will always be my best friends whether it's a hug, a letter, a shoulder to cry on, or some more nutella (hallelujah my third jar is running low) they'll always be my best friends, and for that, today I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I love you guys!


 For the person that was made happy by my tarnished reputation. You no longer have any power over me, I'm happier than ever, I've completely let you go, and it feels dang good.

21 comments :

  1. oh honey i know exactly how you feel, well not exactly but i can sympathize. i'm glad you ended with a positive note, as life truly is amazing and we're all blessed to have the ones who love us in our life. you're a doll and i'm glad you are feeling better <3

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  2. I think it is an adjustment for most girls when they get married. I was one of the first of my friends to get married and I felt the same way - that I didn't have any friends anymore. Gradually I made new friends and learned how to balance being friends with my husband & having girl's nights and such. I'm glad you were able to let go and feel loved!

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  3. Aw, sweetie, I'm so glad things turned happy in the end! I've definitely been there, and still am there, and I haven't even walked down the aisle yet! Getting married does weird things to friendships: things that don't make sense at all. It's so hard because people should be happy that you've found happiness, but they're not! (I had my best friend tell me my marriage was doomed at our engagement party).
    But you definitely have the right attitude... this person should have no power over you!!

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  4. :( Aw girl, I'm sorry. I think I know how you feel. Something similar has happened to me twice and it was never really resolved. I'm so happy that you've let go of that person. That's what I did, too. Sometimes I think it's easier to just let people go than to be pushed around trying to fix what wasn't your fault in the first place. The people who love you truly will still love you, no matter what this person said/did! And everybody else... well, they weren't really your real "friends" anyway!

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  5. i can relate big-time! i also got married this past year, and although i would never go back to being the creepy single girl who buys vintage wedding dresses (without the groom-in-tow), i feel as though i'm in limbo. i try to talk to my still-single friends but they are either too jealous or too weird about it all and say that it's just "different" now. i don't have a lot of married girlfriends and i don't have any babies either. it's a big adjustment but in the end, like you said, the true friends are gonna be there at the end of the day...it's just sad when you think someone's a good friend and it turns out they're not around when you need them. it just makes you want to be an even BETTER friend, doesn't it? yay for NUTELLA!

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  6. not to make light of your feelings, because they are very valid but i'm sure you will see a lot of girls relating to this... i hate to say it but this type of "losing a friend over a new step in your life" will most likely happen again (hopefully on a smaller scale or ideally not at all) once you get pregnant and you have a friend that is struggling to get pregnant too or had/ has a miscarriage, etc... and then again once you have a kid and your married friends are kid-less.. it just changes the dynamic of the friendship... hopefully you can find good friends you enjoy, couple friends and just girl friends... i will say "couple" friends are the hardest, it's hard to find friends you and your spouse both click with, at least for me... but i have been lucky enough to find a few, and if you find a few good ones, that's all you really need... i think my bigger struggle are girl friends, i need more girl time and a good best friend... totally relate... hopefully all of us (you, i and other commenter's) can find that support system we are looking for at some point, because it is so important to have...

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  7. Wow. I'm so sorry you have dealt with this too! Had the same thing happen to me in high school. Lost three of the closest friends I've ever had! But it was for the better. My sister and I got closer and I had friends (shallow, even so) that I could let out my crazy-ness with. Being married now I know that longing for girlfriends, too. It's tough, but I think God is brewing (as He always is) some real sweet girls for me!

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  8. so happy for you! if you wanna be best friends, i'm totally here ;)

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  9. You go girl!! It takes a very strong person to just move on like you have. I look up to you for that because I've been in similar situations and know how hard that is. And to turn around and be happy and grateful is also sometimes hard so double points for you!! Keep being YOU, and the ones who love you for you will always be there for YOU!! :) That was a lot of yous haha!! XO

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  10. HEY ... this can't be, this is amazing, incredible, BECAUSE, this is like ME tlaking. same think, though I haven't got married, but stuff with frienfs rings a bell for me too...

    check out my GIVEAWAY
    http://urbanprettygirl.blogspot.com/

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  11. Is it totally selfish for me to stand up and yell that I am possibly your girl BFF right now? Because we are going to HAWAII and we are shopping buddies and foodie buddies and basically I call you like everyday to hang out with me because you are so cool. Don't you..forget about me. Don't don't don't don't. Or however that song goes.

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  12. Yay for ending the week on an awesome note! I had a friend that I would hang out with all the time and once I started dating someone, she would slowly stop hanging out with me. I would tried to text her if she wanted to make plans and she would never respond. Eventually we stopped talking to each other.
    This reminded me that true friends will stick with you and others will fall by the wayside.

    Nutella is awesome. :)

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  13. You GO Girl...don't ever let anyone take away that amazing smile! Just remember what you learned in primary "If you chance to meet a frown....Do not let it stay...quickly turn it upside down, and smile that frown away" ;)

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  14. I lost a bunch of friend a few years back. It's hard but they weren't really good friends to me in the first place to walk away so easily. They judged me, and shouldn't have. I'm glad you moved on, and I'm sorry that someone would want to ruin your reputation to make themselves feel better. It sounds like they have some issues they need to work out.
    My Heart Blogged

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  15. Good for you!!! It really does hurt when you feel betrayed or attacked by a friend. Nutella is a GREAT remedy though!! ~Serene

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  16. aw so glad that you feel better, you look really happy :)


    <3 steffy
    Steffys Pros and Cons

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  17. i'm so glad you can let go. it's SUPER hard to do. *pat on back*. good friends are really hard to find, but once you do you can never let go.

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  18. as the saying goes...I can make friends but sometimes I can't keep them! It happens but doesn't it just rip you apart when you DO get betrayed by someone you THOUGHT you could trust? its not a pleasant feeling but how amazing it is to receive something to brighten up your days though! Keep your chin up girly!

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  19. ZOMG. Aren't you just the cuteiestpatootiest bloggy chick ever! I love your style and I am so happy you found my blog. I totally identify by feeling like poo because of the actions of other people. My past week has been wrought with this type of thing. It got so bad that I actually shut down my twitter account today. I love what you said about that person (or people) no longer having power over you. I am 30eve and I am still learning this lesson.

    Keep smiling because yours is totally infectious.

    xo,

    Angie

    thehotnessyourmommawarnedyouabout.blogspot.com

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  20. 1.I sincerely hope that the title is a reference to the movie Labyrinth. If it is not, you must see it immediately. It was my 80s childhood, with David Bowie running around in spandex, tossing babies in the air.
    2. The friends that leave you in an instant, or who require so much extra effort to relate to, are not worth the trouble. We grow as people (I'd worry if you didn't!) and things in our lives change - including friends. It's hard to know that someone who were so close to could be so distant. But you have to do what's best for you, and I think keeping your head up is wise. The ones who love you make it worth it.

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  21. I agree with Kelly on Labyrinth and I'll go a step creepier to say that David Bowie has a certain somethin-somethin in that movie...

    And aside from that, you're gorgeous and too funny/adorable/good-crazy to worry about the girls who left you behind when you got married. It's a transition, but some of my best friends are married and I think we're closer now than ever! I hope you find the perfect group of ladies to surround you in this stage of life :)

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